


The Dick Simmons Friend Zone

by catintheinfinite (michelle439731)



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, friend zone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 12:18:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15315348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michelle439731/pseuds/catintheinfinite
Summary: Grif tries to get out of Dick Simmons Friend Zone.





	The Dick Simmons Friend Zone

“Simmons, I’ve got some things. Some things I’ve got to say to you.”

“OK,” Simmons said, hesitantly. Grif didn’t say anything. “Is this going to take a while?”

Grif didn’t say anything for a while longer.

“Grif!”

“I don’t want to be your friend any more.” Grif blurted out.

“What?”

“I want to be your friend. But I want to not be your friend more. Not being your friend last year was the worst. And I always want to be your friend but that time that I wasn’t your friend was terrible made me reailsed that I didn’t want to be your friend any more. Unless you still wanted to be friends in which case I still want to be friends. I want you to know that.”

“O.” Said Simmons, “K. Have you been eating those mushrooms again?”

“No.” Said Grif. “I think I was pretty clear in stating my intentions. I’ve been working on that speech for a while.”

“Try again. And this time maybe avoid using the word ‘friend’. Or at least find a synonym. I mean, sure you could refer to us as friends but we’re just a couple of chums being pals, pals being friends, friends being…”

“Gay.”

“To men being friends isn’t gay Grif. Look, are we still going to be friends at the end of this conversation and we could just skip to the end. I really do have to go.” Simmons looked around and looked back at Grif.

Grif sighed. He had hoped that he wouldn’t have to be explicit about anything. He figured his friendship monologue earlier was pretty obvious. He didn’t want to keep being…that was it!

“I want to move out of your friend-zone Simmons. I like it here but I want to move to the other zone over there.” Grif pointed. “But that depends if you don’t want me to move or want me to stay or if you want me to just stay..”

“Sat on your fat ass.”

“Let you sit on my fat ass.”

“What?”

“What?”

“Grif?” Simmons looked at him. “Grif. You want to move?”

“Look, take off your helmet so I can at least look at you while I have this conversation.” He wanted to look at Simmons. He did not want to look at his own reflection in Simmon’s helmet. Grif removed his helmet and Simmons, after a moment, followed suit. They both stood there in front of each other and didn’t do anything or say anything.

“You want to move?” Said Simmons again.

And Grif moved. Leaning forward and kissing Simmons very gently on the mouth. Their helmets bumped together in their hands. Grif leaned back, stepped back, looked down at his feet and put his helmet back on. Simmons didn’t move at all. This was not the worst thing that could happen. Simmons wasn’t freaking out. He might freak out later of course. But he hadn’t shoved him away. Grif felt he had telegraphed what he wanted pretty obviously. Simmons wasn’t crying.

“You want to still be friends?” Grif suggested with the shrug of his shoulders.

“No,” said Simmons. Then didn’t say anything after that.

“OK. Worth a shot. I’m going to go take a nap now.”

He turned to leave and took half a step before Simmons grabbed his arm and gripped hard. He still didn’t say anything but Grif was prepared to wait. Simmons still hadn’t put his helmet back on and didn’t look like he was freaking out. Maybe small freak outs were more visible and this was a big silent freak out.

“No, I don’t want to be friends any more. Lets, erm, lets go over there.” And he gestured in the direction that Grif had pointed in earlier.

“Really.”

“Yeah, erm, lets move over there.” Simmons attempted smile that seemed nervous to be seen on his face.

Grif turned around to face him again proper. Simmons looked away but Grif realised he still had his helmet on and Simmons probably didn’t want to look at his own face reflected back. Not when he wanted to move over there with Grif. He hurriedly removed his helmet.

“Yeah, lets go over there. Lets take the puma.”

“We don’t need to, it was a metaphor Grif.” But Grif was already moving towards the car door.

“Shotgun,” said Simmons to the fresh air and got into the seat next to him.

~~~

“WHERE THEY HELL HAVE YOU TWO BEEN.” Sarge had obviously noticed their disappearance.

“Jeep got stuck in the shade Sarge. Had to wait to recharge the batteries.”

“THOSE BATTERIES TAKE TWO HOURS TO DRAIN. WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THE SHADE FOR TWO HOURS?”

“I can tell you what we weren’t doing,” said Simmons at the same time as Grif said, “We were having sex.”


End file.
